Here Cometh The Cheese
by Kellen
Summary: When Estel's prank playing gets out of hand, his efforts to set things right overshadow the original prank. Things will never be the same in Imladris.
1. Chapter One

Here Cometh the Cheese  
  
Author's, uh, warning: Zaniness found below. Do not read while eating  
cheese.  
  
This is all Bill the Pony's fault. Ya hear me - BtP's fault!!  
  
Rating: PG, possibly.  
  
Summary: Estel meets his match in prank playing, in the Master Cook  
himself. When the things get out of hand, Estel's efforts to set things  
right overshadow the original prank itself. Rivendell will never be the  
same. Pre-LotR, but Estel and Legolas are friends - think Cassia's and  
Sio's Mellon Chronicles era...  
  
Chapter One of Three:  
  
The day began like any other day. Lord Elrond, master of Imladris, leaned  
against his balcony rail enjoying the warm morning sun. He closed his  
eyes, letting the bright sounds of the morning inundate his senses; birds  
chirping, wind gently rustling leaves...  
  
Screams and cries of indignation...  
  
Elrond's eyes flew open.  
  
He sighed. Sounded like he needed to fill the role of referee once again.  
He looked down, surveying the area. Where were those boys?  
  
The answer came to him on the heels of the question: Follow the sound of  
the screaming. Sighing again, wondering whatever posessed him to take in  
a human son, he pushed off the railing and turned inside, following the  
sound of pranks being played.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Estel ran. Hot on his trail were three elves, and he knew a fourth was  
probably running to cut him off before he reached his objective. Then  
there was the fifth - Fiwen, on whom the prank had been played, albeit  
inadvertantly, could be quite devious in her revenge. He'd have to watch  
out for her. Apologizing was not going to help.  
  
She's been where Elrohir was supposed to have been. It was an honest  
mistake. It was Elrohir's hair that was supposed to be bright purple, not  
the pretty she-Elf's. Not that Fiwen was inclined to believe him, or cut  
him any slack whatsoever. Elrohir wasn't happy either, when he found out  
the prank was for him, and Elladan wanted to hobble Estel for daring play  
a prank on a girl - he was convinced Estel had no sense of chivalry  
anymore.  
  
So, Elladan, Elrohir, and Fiwen's brother were right behind Estel.  
Legolas, Estel was sure, was somewhere in the woods, pursuing the man  
just for the fun of it.  
  
One man, four elves...the odds were not good.  
  
Estel dashed into Lord Elrond's home, crashing through hallways and  
heading for the kitchens. There was a passageway that would let him out  
into a more secluded area of Rivendell from there, and if he could get  
there before his pursuers, he might stand a chance. Barely noticing his  
adopted father, Elrond himself, move swiftly out of Estel's way, he  
barrelled into the kitchens.  
  
He may not have noticed Elrond, but he did take note of the flash of  
purple and the indignant shout of the Master Cook. He skid to a stop,  
face to face with an irate Fiwen. His eyes widened as hers narrowed, and  
when he turned away from her gaze, found the three elves that had been  
pursuing him standing behind him. Estel managed a weak hello just before  
Elrond and Legolas stepped into the kitchen.  
  
There was a moment when no one moved. Not a sound rent the still, tense  
air.  
  
Then suddenly, Fiwen's brother dove for Estel. Estel dodged quickly,  
turning for the passageway. He, however, misjudged the turn, driving the  
corner of a table deep into his stomach. The elf landed on him and their  
combined momentum moved the table several feet forward. Food flew.  
Estel and Fiwen's brother landed on the floor, both watching in something  
akin to amazement as a huge cheese wheel dropped on the floor and rolled  
unerringly toward the passageway. It kept rolling, never wobbling, never  
straying from its course.  
  
Silence reigned again. The Master Cook's gaze followed the cheese as it  
rolled away and disappeared from view and the elf tuned his eyes back to  
glare at Estel. His look changed from one of glaring anger to one of  
utmost horror.  
  
Elrond groaned. Long had he known the Master Cook, and he could sense  
exactly what was coming.  
  
"No," the cook ground out. He pointed a trembling finger at Estel. "Look  
what you have done. Ai, Valar save us all, you have let it loose!"  
  
Fiwen helped her brother up, and they both promptly stepped back from the  
now seemingly crazy cook. She looked to Elrond, a question bright in her  
eyes. Elrond was distracted for a moment by her bright purple hair before  
offering her a small smile and gestured for her to play along. He turned  
to his twin sons and Legolas and nodded knowingly. The twins nodded back,  
and Elrohir shushed Legolas.  
  
The cook lurched forward, grabbing Estel's shirt front and lifting the  
young man clear off the ground. "You have doomed us all. Your insolence  
has destroyed Imladris." The cook's voice was rising higher and higher  
with every word. "Lord Elrond, what is to be done? Ai!" He dropped Estel,  
who somehow managed to land on his feet and back away as far as he could.  
It put him right next to Fiwen and her brother, but by this point, Estel  
cared not for retribution from that corner.  
  
The cook pointed to Estel again and spoke, his voice raspy and low. "Doom  
on you. Doom on you."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Estel finally said, regarding the cook with  
a fearful, but skeptical glance.  
  
"The cheese..." the cook muttered.  
  
Elrond somehow managed not to laugh. Elrohir left the room, one arm  
wrapped around his sides while the other hand was clapped over his mouth.  
  
"The what?" Estel choked, completely bewildered.  
  
"You have set the cheese wheel lose on Imladris. No one is safe."  
  
Estel stared at the elf who'd seemed to have gone insane in front of him.  
He turned to Elrond, who somehow managed to put on an appropriately  
horrified look. "Ada?" Estel trailed off when he saw Elrond's face. He'd  
never seen his father looking so...so terrified. Elrond did not get  
terrified. Concerned, yes. Terrified, no.  
  
It scared Estel out of his wits.  
  
Cheese does this?  
  
"Ada, what -"  
  
Elrond cut him off. "Later, Estel," he said, his voice cracking. Estel  
could have sworn it cracked with terror, but in truth, Elrond was having  
a llittle trouble holding back laughter. "Elladan, gather the scouts. A  
small party will be able to move faster."  
  
Elladan nodded. "I'll get Elrohir." He laid a hand on his father's  
shoulder. "Not to worry, Ada. We will stop this horrible thing." He left.  
  
Elrond turned to leave, gesturing for Fiwen and her brother to follow.  
"Come, Fiwen. Do not fear," he added, for sheer lack of something to say  
- after all, how much can be said about cheese wheels of doom? "Master  
Cook, I will need you in my study. Ten minutes."  
  
They all went. Estel was left standing in the kitchen, literally  
scratching his head. He turned to Legolas, who alone stood framed by the  
doorway. "What just happened?"  
  
The golden haired elf straightened. "It is a serious elven matter," he  
said seriously. He turned to go, but looked back over his shoulder. "If I  
were you, I would stay inside until this is over."  
  
Estel nodded. "Yeah, I can see where Fiwen might want to murder me."  
  
"It is not Fiwen you have to fear," Legolas said gravely. "The cheese  
wheel rolls again."  
  
Estel stared bewildered as Legolas left. "Not you too," he finally  
managed to say. He stood in silence for a few minutes, totally at a loss  
to try to explain the last few minutes.  
  
"A cheese wheel?! What in the whole of middle earth and Moria does a  
cheese wheel have to do with doom?" he yelled. "Ai, Eru...they have gone  
insane."  
  
Had he been listening to anything but his own rant, Estel would have  
heard a group of elves break into soft laughter around the corner.  
  
tbc...Chapter Two coming soon!! 


	2. Chapter Two

Here Cometh the Cheese _  
  
Author: Kellen   
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I make no money from this.   
  
Summary: Don't you remember this from the first time around? *sigh* Oh,   
well...Let's see if *I* remember the summary...   
  
Estel meets his match in prank playing, in the Master Cook himself. When   
things get out of hand, Estel's efforts to set things right overshadow   
the original prank. Imladris will never be the same.   
  
Rating: PG   
  
Author's warning: Due to an unfortunate incident involving chili and a   
computer screen, I have modified my warning. Do not read while eating or   
drinking anything.   
  
Additional disclaimers: The author is not responsible for any damage to   
computers due to the violent expulsion of half chewed food onto said   
computer. (See warning above: I warned you, therefore, not my fault!)   
Nor is the author responsible for any injuries resulting in laughing so   
hard as to fall off a chair. I am not responsible for what my words   
cause.   
  
Oh, and I claim immunity against stupid grammar errors or typos. I blame   
that on my klutzy three legged wolf-dog who broke my nose. I can't think   
straight. Hey, you try forming coherent thoughts when your nose, of all   
things, is throbbing, ok? And I wear glasses...You people are lucky I   
can even find the keyboard. _  
  
I will also say again, this is all Bill the Pony's fault. I should never _  
had told her about that dream...   
  
So, without further ado...   
_  
Chapter Two of Here Cometh the Cheese   
  
They'd gotten him. Estel was more than willing to admit defeat. The   
Master Cook had pulled a good one on him, but, seriously, cheese wheels   
of doom? Who was going to believe that? Estel shook his head; he almost   
did. What was he supposed to expect, what with Elrond shaking in fear,   
and Elladan and Elrohir up in arms, and Legolas shushing him so quickly?   
  
  
Estel had to laugh. Cheese wheels. What did they think he was? Sure, it   
had rattled him. The Cook had seemed so crazy at the time, and the   
absurdity of it all reduced Estel's thinking process to monosyllabic   
sounds.   
  
He figured that if he just apologized to Fiwen and offered to see if he   
could find some herb that would get rid of the purple without damaging   
her natural dark color, then all would be well. He was on his way to do   
just that. He was having trouble finding Fiwen without the escort of her   
orc of a brother who seemed intent on murdering Estel, Lord Elrond's   
adopted son or not. Estel had the bruises to prove it. Estel was on the   
pathway, peering into the dusk, looking for a bright spot of purple when   
he heard shouts.   
  
"Estel, move," Elladan called.   
  
Estel jumped to the side and stared wide eyed at the procession of armed   
elves running past him. These were Elladan's scouts, who posessed the   
best aim in Rivendell, armed with bows, overloaded with arrows and   
weilding swords. All of them wore looks that reminded Estel of an army   
going to certain death.   
  
"Elladan?" he questioned. "Wha..."   
  
Elladan whirled on him. "You should go inside, little brother."   
  
"Wha..." Estel winced. There it was. Monosyllabic vocabulary.   
  
"You surely do not understand the severity of the situation if you are   
still outside, Estel. The cheese rolls again." Elladan placed his hands   
on Estel's shoulders and shoved him toward the manor. "Go."   
  
Estel looked over his shoulder. "Good joke, Elladan."   
  
"Get inside. It's dangerous out here."   
  
"Right. I believe you. Really. I do."   
  
Estel had barely finished his sentence when a scream shattered the still   
air. Color drained from Elladan's face. "Please, Eru, no. Not already."   
  
"What, Elladan?"   
  
"The cheese's first victim." Elladan gestured to his scouts. "Find her,"   
he called. He turned back to Estel. "Please go inside, little brother.   
Please."   
  
Estel stood stock still. "Wha..."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Estel spoke with Elrond several hours later. He'd gone inside, still   
blinking in bewilderment over Elladan and his scouts. Some time after   
that, he could be found sharpening his blade and replenishing his   
arrows. This thing wasn't going to catch him off guard. He had stopped   
at that thought.   
  
It's a cheese wheel, Estel. A cheese wheel.   
  
He'd put down his weapons and started wandering the halls. Legolas,   
Elrohir and Elladan were no where to be found. "Out hunting cheese,"   
Estel thought miserably, and laughed.   
  
What were they up to? Was this one huge joke designed so that they could   
avoid him?   
  
What? Did he smell bad?   
  
Estel was in the midst of checking that very thing when Elrond came   
around the corner. He raised his eyebrows at his son standing in the   
middle of the hallway, arm up, sniffing the air. Elrond cleared his   
throat, and Estel, very slowly, lowered his arm and looked at his   
father.   
  
"Oh, Ada, I was just...I was...uhm, stretching." Estel stammered.   
"Stretching," he finished more confidently, and nodded.   
  
Elrond sighed, and Estel saw grief in the elder elf's eyes.   
  
"Ada, what is it?"   
  
Elrond ran a hand over his face. "I am sorry, Estel. I could not save   
her."   
  
"Save her? What happened?" Estel thought for a second. "Who's 'her'?"   
  
"Fiwen," Elrond breathed. "Fiwen is gone."   
  
"Wha..." Estel stopped, forcing words through his lips, even as his   
heart broke. Despite her orc of a brother, he honestly cared for the   
young elf. Fiwen had been like an older sister at times; had took care   
of him sometimes when he was but a child. "Fiwen? How?"   
  
Elrond almost stopped the joke then and there. Poor Estel honestly   
believed Fiwen had died; not surprising since Elrond was hardly given to   
lie to him. Elrond could see the pain festering already the man's heart.   
Elrond took a deep breath, steadying himself. He had promised the twins   
he would see this through. And Fiwen had been more than happy to play   
her part to the hilt, as revenge for the purple hair. "The cheese rolls   
again, Estel. The cheese rolls again."   
  
Estel turned on his heel and headed back to his rooms. He had weapons to   
make ready.   
  
The cheese was going to meet its match.   
  
Before long, Estel was patrolling the words, sword in hand and bow   
ready.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
"What is he doing?"   
  
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Elrohir, you set him up for this, you do   
realize that?"   
  
"Well, yes, but I never thought he would go as far as to hunt the cheese   
wheel." Elrohir hopped to another branch, peering through the gathering   
darkness to gaze at Estel, who moved with so much stealth as to make it   
hard for even elves to find him. "He believes the cheese wheel thing?"   
  
"Aye, he does," Elladan added. "Fiwen died."   
  
Elrohir turned a confused gaze on his twin. "Wha..."   
  
Elladan rolled his eyes. "Now I know where Estel gets it," he muttered.   
Louder, he stated. "Fiwen. She died. First victim of the cheese. Ada   
told him, and the next thing we know, Estel is hunting cheese."   
  
"So, where is the cheese wheel?"   
  
Legolas shrugged. "I took it back to the Master Cook. He was still   
muttering about cheese wheels of doom and indolent human boys."   
  
Elrohir nodded. "Where is our purple haired friend?"   
  
"Fiwen? I do not know. She is probably relaxing."   
  
Elrohir shook his head. "No, Elladan, I don't think so. If I know Fiwen,   
she is watching Estel as intently as we are. It is, after all, her   
revenge."   
  
Legolas narrowed his eyes. "So, how does the Master Cook fit into this?   
I thought he started this."   
  
"Aye, he did," Elrohir said. "Fiwen, though, picked it up after the   
initial cheese wheel thing..." he trailed off for a moment, not entirely   
sure how to describe the incident. He shook his head. "Fiwen was more   
than happy to play along, as I recall."   
  
Elladan smiled. "Yes, it was her idea to 'die'."   
  
Elrohir laughed softly. "Elladan, Legolas...I have an idea." He looked   
at Estel again, who was stalking away, looking left and right for loose   
cheese wheels. "Should we take this a step farther? We need Ada's help   
with this one, though."   
  
"What do you have in mind?" Legolas questioned, eyes brightening at the   
possibility of an even better prank.   
  
  
tbc... _  
(What? I tried for the best cliffhanger I could come up with at the   
moment...)_

Cheers, Kellen (still nursing a horribly throbbing nose)


	3. Chapter Three

Why is it when I try to write a zany humor thing, my life ends up reflecting my story? No, no cheese wheels of doom have attacked, nor have merry elves played pranks on me, and no, my hair is not purple. Would that it were just that. It's just that my life could be a sitcom right now. Every time I turn around, something bizarre happens. Like the middle aged twice divorced man that decided I was the "one." I wonder if he told his last two wives they were the one. My dogs tried to attack him. I was *this* close to letting them have at him, but decided I didn't want a lawsuit on my hands. Considering this guy's track record, I wouldn't have been surprised if he sued the "one." So, now, just like the last chapter, I am nursing a horrible throbbing nose because I tried to hold back two eighty pound dogs. They took me down the front porch steps and I managed to, once again, get knocked in the nose by the same dog. Then there was the whole car thing, the Izzy's incident, and the running-out-of-gas-how-am-I-going-to-get-home-from-here thing somewhere between Portland, OR and Tumwater, WA. I swear, the things I had to do to get enough gas to get home was nothing short of bizarre. I fell into a fountain in downtown. I tripped on the escalator at the mall. I banged my head on a bathroom stall door. I end up in a "conversation" with a woman who spoke only Italian. I speak English only - not for lack of studying other languages...It seemed very important to her. I hope I didn't steer her completely wrong...oh, bad thoughts...

I should give up humor fics. I just can't handle what happens when I do anything remotely funny.

*sigh*

By now you're wondering what is with this post, huh? Chapter three is actually in here somewhere. I suppose I could get to it, eh? You people are going to hate me if I don't stop talking and just get to the story.

*twiddles thumbs*

C'mon people, it's a humor fic and I get a good laugh out of antagonizing you. That is, until you all come get me...

OK.

_Here Cometh the Cheese_

_Author: Kellen_

_Rating: PG_

_Disclaimer: I own no characters of Tolkien, and I make no profit. Fiwen and her orc of a brother, however, are mine. I make no profit from them, either. They are rather useless, but I like Fiwen._

_Additional disclaimers: Once again, the author is not responsible for any damage caused by the forceful expulsion of half chewed food or drink. I would advise eating or drinking nothing while reading any chapter of "Here Cometh the Cheese." And, once again, I take no responsibility for stupid typos - I have my glasses off and I can't see the computer screen, and the keyboard is a tad fuzzy. Now, bad grammar, I'll take credit for...Just anything that can be attributed to not being able to see the computer, I won't be responsible for. _

_Summary: I have to do this again? If you don't know what its about by now, then I give up..._

_Estel. Prank playing. Master Cook. Cheese wheels of doom. Imladris-never the same. (Especially after the twins cook up their scheme...)_

Chapter Three: The Conclusion

"You are mad."

Elrohir smirked. He held out the long black coat to Legolas. "Come on. Put it on."

Legolas sighed as he took the coat. "Estel is not this gullible." Elladan and Elrohir looked to each other and then to Legolas, brows raised. "Right," Legolas amended. "He is hunting cheese wheels intent on destroying Imladris."

"My dear friend," Elladan said archly, "if that is not gullible, I am an orc."

Legolas gave him a considering glance. "You look like one."

Legolas ducked as two sets of hands tried to cuff him. "What did I say to you?" he asked Elrohir. 

"You insulted his looks. Twins, Legolas. We look alike." Elrohir shook his head. "I thought you intelligent." Legolas opened his mouth, but Elrohir cut him off. "Just put on the coat."

Legolas shrugged it on, frowning as the hem brushed the marble floor. "This is not me." 

"Button it up."

Legolas rolled his eyes, but obeyed.

Elladan handed Elrohir a coat, and put one on himself. "Are we ready?"

Elrohir adjusted the lapels of his black knee length coat. "Oh, yes. This will be fun." He grinned. "Ada has the weapons?"

Elladan nodded.

"Let's go."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Estel gaped. He'd rounded a corner to find the three elves he'd been looking for coming down the hallway toward him. Legolas came to a stop, and the twins moved to flank him. They stood, arms crossed, each holding a sword unlike anything Estel had ever seen. Legolas held a light staff, nearly as long as he was tall. They were dressed all in black. The twins wore matching black coats that flared at their knees and black leggings and boots. Estel was so busy staring at his brothers' attire he almost didn't notice how Legolas was dressed.

He choked. He'd never seen his friend wear black, much less a floor length lightweight robe that buttoned all the way up the collar. Black leather gloves adorned his hands.

"Wha.."

Elladan rolled his eyes. "We are hunting," he told Estel as they began walking again. 

"Where did..."

Elrohir held up the sword. "This? From Ada. From last time the cheese rolled. Serrated edges. It cuts cheese better."

"Oh," Estel said helplessly. "I can help."

Elladan snorted, somehow keeping Estel from hearing the amusement laced through it.

"What? You don't think I can help?" Estel's indignant voice rang out.

"Estel," Legolas interupted. "We know full well of your prowess as a warrior," here Legolas laid a hand on his shoulder, "but this is something that you have never faced. You must never underestimate the cheese."

The three elves brushed past him. Estel stopped them with a cry. "Legolas, what are you carrying?"

"A blow gun."

"Wha..."

Suddenly, Legolas' eyes went wide as he looked beyond Estel. "Estel, duck," he cried as he brought up the blow gun. Estel didn't know whether to be alarmed or laugh as Legolas' cheeks puffed out as he brought the gun to his lips and blew. A dart whizzed through the air above Estel.

The twins glanced at each other and, in unison, brought their swords to bear. "Let's cut this cheese into such small pieces..."

"...it will look like string," Elrohir finished. 

They ran forward, Legolas close behind. As they passed out of earshot around a corner, Elladan turned to Elrohir. "Stringed cheese?" he questioned. "Of all the idiotic things I've heard in the past two days, stringed cheese actually tops the list."

Elrohir shrugged.

Legolas looked back at the wall the dart had hit. "I have horrible aim, " he commented."I almost hit Estel with the thing. Why do I get the blow gun? Why a blow gun?"

"It seemed perfectly incongruous at the time," Elrohir answered. "You two, to the garden. I'll find Ada."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Estel made his way back to his rooms. All of Imladris had gone insane.

Either that, or Estel himself was insane.

"It ends here," he said aloud, speaking to no one. He had to hear his own voice. It was the only thing that seemed sane. He rounded a corner, eyes ahead, almost missing the most important thing he might have seen all day. 

A flash of purple barely registered as he walked past. A few steps later, he stopped and slowly turned around. "Fiwen?"

Fiwen froze and almost dropped the tray she held. Being dead did not get one out of one's duties. Her mouth opened and closed as Estel's face darkened angrily. 

"I've been had."

Fiwen swallowed. She knew she was in trouble. So much trouble. 

Estel grinned. Fiwen knew that look. That was the look orcs got before a particularly rousing fight.

"I have something for you to do, Fiwen."

Fiwen nodded. It was all she could manage at the time. Estel stepped close and whispered low. Before long, Fiwen smiled. It was a small, dubious smile. Playing tricks for revenge on Lord Elrond's son was one thing; trying to pull something over on Elrond himself was an entirely different story.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Estel found Elrond with no trouble. Elrond was speaking quietly with Elrohir when he heard the young man approaching. Quickly, he gestured for Elrohir to hide and turned to face the door just as Estel walked in.

Estel had a carefully schooled look of concern and grief plastered on his features. He dearly hoped Elrond would not see past it. "Ada, what is going on? I want the truth."

Elrond sighed. The truth would involve breaking a promise he made to the twins and Fiwen, but Estel had a rough enough two days to warrant it. The elder elf caught sight of Elrohir shaking his head vehemently. He sighed again. "I cannot tell you, Estel."

"Surely, you -"

"No. I am sorry."

Estel sighed. "Fine, then. I wanted to ask you about Fiwen's memorial service. When will it be planned?"

"I have not gotten to it yet, Estel."

"But, Ada, she -"

"When I have time, I will do it, Estel. I wish for Fiwen's memorial to be right, and what with all these other things demanding my attention, I haven't had a moment to appropriately plan."

"But, Ada -"

"If I have time, Estel, I will get to it. Be patient." Elrond hid a smile; he'd figured out what Estel was playing at the moment the human first spoke. Estel had never been able to hide his emotions from his Ada. Elrond glanced to where Elrohir was hidden. This could get interesting, indeed. Perhaps now was the time to turn the tables on the twins, Legolas and Fiwen for what they'd tried to do to Estel.

Estel glared at his father. Elrond's admonition to be patient was apparently lost on him, if the look on his face was any indication. "You are immortal, Ada. Surely you can find the time." 

Elrond's face darkened. Estel was sure it was from anger at his outburst, but in truth, Elrond was dangerously close to laughing and spoiling the whole thing. After regaining his composure - during which time, Estel was sure he was nearing the end of his mortal life - Elrond spoke. "Are you a child or a man, Estel?" 

Estel closed his eyes, thinking on all that had happened that day. With a long resigned sigh, he answered his father. "I am not sure. I am beginning to believe I am having a nightmare." He started walking away, almost in a daze. "None of this is happening. I just need to wake up. Just wake up, Estel." 

Elrond could hear him walking down the hall, continuing to mutter about waking up. The elf lord smiled. "We have him," he told Elrohir, who was hiding in the shadows. Elrohir returned the grin as he stepped out of the shadows, still wearing the black coat he'd used earlier. 

Elrond sighed. "Take that ridiculous thing off, Elrohir." 

Elrohir held out his hands. "But, Ada, it is..." he trailed off, gesturing, not finding the words to describe the coat. "I like it."

Elrond rolled his eyes. "Ten minutes, then come to the Hall of Fire." With that, he left to find a purple haired she-Elf.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Estel didn't quite know how he'd managed to steal the cheese wheel. A small favor from Fiwen certainly helped by providing the Master Cook a distraction, but the cook was nothing if not perceptive. Estel carried the cheese wheel hidden under a cloak draped over his arm. According to Fiwen's orc of a brother (who had, miraculously, decided to help. Estel suspected a few harsh words from Fiwen caused that turnaround.) Elladan and Legolas were "hunting" in the garden. 

Estel walked quickly and quietly, garnering a few looks from a few elves, but the antics of the sons of Elrond were well known and no one said anything. They'd already seen one of the twins and the prince of Mirkwood strolling through the garden dressed in ridiculous black coats. Watching the human son of the lord of Imladris stalk through the garden hiding something under a cloak was nothing new. 

Estel found his quarry before they saw him. Trying hard to contain his laughter lest the elves pick up on him, he unwrapped the cheese and sent it rolling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Elrohir did as told. He was a good elf that way. Very punctual. Fiwen and Elrond were never more pleased with him. The younger twin frowned when he found the door closed to the Hall of Fire - it was never closed, but he shrugged it off. Maybe Elrond needed to speak in private again. 

He pushed the door open, heedless of anything but going inside the room. He caught sight of Elrond standing next to Fiwen, who was smiling dangerously before dark purple haze obscured his vision.

Sputtering, he wiped at his eyes to find Fiwen walking toward him. "Purple is a good color on you," she purred as she walked past.

Elrohir gaped, then turned his gaze to Elrond. 

"You know, she is right," the elder elf said thoughtfully.

"Ada!" Elrohir choked. "Who?"

"I decided to get in on this prank playing. It looked like. Fiwen was more than happy to help." Elrond smiled. "This is as fun as it looked. You should wash up. You look as though paint has been dropped on you."

"Wha..."

Elrond walked away, laughing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Elladan and Legolas were walking along the pathway in the garden, really strolling aimlessly as they waited for Elrohir. The sooner the younger elf came and Estel followed, the sooner Legolas could get out of this ridiculous getup. Legolas adjusted the coat yet again, feeling chafed in the long coat. 

"Where is Elrohir?" Elladan grumbled. "He's late."

Legolas shrugged. He twirled the idiotic blow gun in his hands. Elladan watched, uninterested, but with nothing else to do, until Legolas dropped the weapon. The blond elf stared, wide eyed down the path. Elladan, one brow raised, turned to face the direction Legolas was staring. 

A cheese wheel was rolling down the pathway toward them.

Unerring.

It was coming right at them. 

Legolas stepped to the side, half raising the blow gun. Elladan stepped to the other side, sword raised as the cheese rolled toward them. It continued to roll between them. They turned watching it continure down the pathway.

"What in the depth of Moria," Legolas said, "was that?"

Elladan swallowed. "A cheese wheel," he deadpanned.

"How -"

Elladan shook his head. "Maybe we should -"

"Yes."

With that, both elves followed the cheese wheel, weapons at the ready.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Estel watched them go, hand over his mouth as he struggled to keep in the laughter. He'd have to tread lightly the next few days; revenge would be forthcoming. With a smile and a spring in his step, he turned back toward the house just in time to catch sight of Elrohir coming down the steps, hair purple and purple paint streaks all over the black coat.

Estel couldn't help it.

His laughter rang throughout the garden.

Three elves stopped what they were doing to turn in the direction of the sound. Without a word, they ran toward the young man, purple hair and coat flying and ridiculous weapons raised.

Estel turned on his heel and ran, already breathless from laughter. 'Isn't this how all this started?' he had time to think before the elves burst through the trees on his heels.

_The End_

_Hope you enjoyed the ride. I enjoyed writing it._

_Cheers, Kellen_


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